Grief Awareness Week

I had been working on a Signs, Part II post for this week, but I saw on Instagram yesterday that it was National Grief Awareness day and this week is National Grief Awareness Week. I had no idea there was such a thing, but I figured it was a good time to share what I’ve learned about grief so far. 

Grief and healing are not linear 

My sister actually sent me this post on Insta last week from @yourselflovematters that showed circles of healing: what you expected versus what you got. I knew grief and my healing wouldn’t be linear, but I feel I’m in a totally different place than I was this time last year. I don’t feel sad everyday, but on the days that I am, I’m somehow sadder than I was last year. It’s weird.

The second year is more difficult than the first

I sent this post to my sister from @notsorryforyourloss. This probably isn’t true for everyone, but I feel this wholeheartedly. Learning to live daily life without my mom was a struggle, but the “harsh reality” that it will never change, is incredibly difficult some days. It’s just crazy to me that I’ll never call her on my way home from work again, I’ll never get a birthday card from her again, we’ll never go shopping together again.

The way you feel grief will change

Up until several months ago, my grief was expressed as sadness or stress. I would either feel down or anxious. I would either cry or have no appetite. Recently my grief morphed into anger, and I know anger can be a form of grief, but I had yet to experience it. I didn’t like it, and I don’t consider myself an angry person, so I started going to grief counseling again to work through it. I’ve realized that my anger rears its head when I feel someone is taking their time on Earth for granted. My mom would have given anything to be here, to be spending time with her family, to be enjoying life to the fullest, so when I see people who aren’t doing that, it really pisses me off. I’m working on it though, and it’s slowly getting better. Just figuring out the “why” behind my anger has helped me a lot.

Grief can ebb and flow, and so can the help you need

Like I said, I recently started going to grief counseling again, and it has been really helpful. When I quit grief counseling last fall I didn’t think I would ever need to go back, but time changes things. Even when I feel like I’m managing my grief well, I can still find things to talk about with my counselor to further my healing. If you’re interested in grief counseling, I go here, and I highly recommend it.

I often see quotes about grief, that as time goes on our grief doesn’t change, but how we carry it does or how we wear our grief changes. It’s very true. If you have lost a loved one you will grieve forever, but it will be different depending on the day or what’s going on in your life. It doesn’t lessen as time goes on, it’s just different. So, during Grief Awareness Week check on those who have lost loved ones, whether they lost someone last year or twenty years ago; grief is grief, there are no time limits.

BeST,

Brittany